I’m at a super interesting inflection point in my character arc right now, and the metamorphosis is as challenging as you might expect. Welcome to your twenties, I guess.
I just took a week of PTO with last-minute notice to go to Dubai last week for involvement with Full Sail, and it was genuinely one of the best and most energizing trips I’ve ever been on, particularly when you limit the scope to that of a “work trip”. We went to create buzz, to garner investment, and to turn the conceptual into concrete momentum. There were two conferences (first Token2049, then Sui Basecamp) and we didn’t even really attend Token despite fully capitalizing on all the side events that were hosted earlier in the week. I think we did a fantastic job, but what the hell do I know, it was my first time “on the circuit”.
Back at my liminal-space day job, my manager scheduled the infamous “check in” for tomorrow, and I’m dreading it. I know I’m capable of spinning up some bullshit to attribute my lack of involvement and performance to… well, the world is chaotic and destabilizing in a mental health way right now, after all, but I am second-guessing my willingness to do so. I have some liquidity, and it’s allocated pretty well, if I can pat my own back there. The challenge is that even the 25% effort I am putting in to the day job (if that) remains a drawdown on my soul.
That’s not to be underestimated.
Part of me wishes I could just forward this webpage to my manager and let it speak for itself, and perhaps that will ultimately happen. I would be genuinely thankful if some anon could do so for me and make the consequences something to optimize around, instead of a variable – the decision itself. Part of me recognizes that there are no solutions, only trade-offs, and that removing the liquidity and stable paychecks that come from participation in corporate America is a suboptimal choice. If it needs to happen, let them do it, because why would I bite the hand that feeds me?
Liquidity gives you options, but it also gives you an excuse.
Personal metamorphosis is never a clean swap, it’s a painful evolution. But it’s painful in the best way, in the way you feel after a particularly strenuous workout that pushes you to grow and be stronger.
I guess at the end of the day, it’s much more than financial liquidity, it’s identity liquidity. And it’s kind of uncomfortable, not going to lie.
I’m not the same me as I was when I took my tech consulting gig a little over two and a half years ago. In another sense, I am 100% the same me.
My whole “professional life” has been determined by a pursuit of the next best thing, and at the early stages, that was an easy game to play. Finding where I fit best amid the opportunities I could scour in the marketplace. My first internship was at ASML doing global trade and customs, but it was unfortunately far too procedural and customs-oriented for me to really care about that isolated aspect of a really cool thing (hello, compute bottleneck!).
My next internship was at Protiviti as a risk consultant, whatever that means. I could try and LinkedIn spin it up, and believe me I’m capable, but again, meh.
I graduated in three years, and after that internship I was at a crossroads: focus on entrepreneurship or take a full-time offer I had lined up right after the Protiviti internship. Although my soul was, and is, entrepreneurial, I knew that going to a lower-tier state school for a double major in entrepreneurship was about as oxymoronic as jumbo shrimp and decided to access some of that juicy fiat liquidity my cushy work from home job provided, and I guess, still does.
So I sold out, temporarily.
I remember sitting on the end of my dad’s bed at one point early in this job and, in the context of discussing health insurance, explaining the macro play I intended to make. Simply:
1. extract experience, credibility, and fiat liquidity
2. use those things to make a jump into what I wanted to do and always had. startups, baby.
And, in a macro way, it worked out really well. For every one dollar I made pre-tax from that job, I currently have two. Thanks, macro. This also means I was able to “float” the cost of my life. So, like, think for $1 earned pre-tax minus 35c tax minus another 30c cost of rent, food, car, whatnot turned into $2 invested in just a couple years.
The problem is, and my strength is (they’re always the same), that I optimize too much. Meaning, the second that paycheck dries up, things change. My investing framework is what you might call “risk-on”. So, in an environment where I need liquidity to operate, I have to shift some of it to “risk-off”, and that is a fundamental reframe.
Have you ever seen the graph of the sin wave of “it’s so over – we’re so back” and it’s compressing along the x-axis? Yeah, that.
Anyways, I know this chapter is rapidly, shall we say, accelerating to a close. And I’m deeply okay with it, spiritually. But on a liquidity optimization axis, it’s short term Pareto sub-optimal.
The question is: on a medium to long-run duration, is it Pareto optimal? And I think the answer is yes.
I say that because I know that the conversations I had with the 10 people in our AirBnB were cracked. That is to say, really good. Conversations that made me feel like I was aligned.
And you can’t put a price on alignment.
Alignment as in, people who understood the concept of monetize compute.
Alignment as in, a Russian guy who had an AI hacker house in Nepal drawing correlation between the book of genesis and the current trajectory of compute and AI development in the context of a simulation that optimizes for reduction of entropy.
Alignment as in, I didn’t get more than four hours of sleep on any night that week and I was totally okay with it because the late-night-into-the-morning-balcony-overlooking-the-Burj-Khalifa-oversharing-rambling discussions were, well, cracked.
Liquidity is only valuable if you’re willing to deploy it. It’s not safety, it’s the opportunity to gain leverage. Most people underutilize it.
The highest cost of optionality is never exercising it.
In an era where dedollarization is accelerating, in an era where Nvidia finds a way to pack more transistors on a GPU with greater power efficiency every 3 seconds, in an era where it’s theorized that OpenAI might legitimately be artificially stalling progress of their latest-gen models to smooth the adoption curve and to not scare everyone into moving to the countryside, I think I want to close out all my puts.
Tomorrow, I will sit on a Microsoft Teams call and lean into being “anxious”, “overwhelmed”, and dealing with “emotional uncertainties” in order to suck the last viable bits of liquidity out of a global conglomerate I have deprioritized in relation to my own life.
The cool part is, I do actually feel those things. It’s just that the end state is radically different than what people might traditionally project. Let the buyer beware.
Everyone frames this kind of leap as “giving up stability”. In reality, I think the unstable thing is working your whole life for something that isn’t what you really want to be working on.
To monetize compute is to convert logic into output, and output into leverage.
ASML is a wrapper on Silicon (sand).
TSMC is a wrapper on ASML.
Nvidia is a wrapper on TSMC.
OpenAI is a wrapper on Nvidia.
I can only hope that I’m a wrapper on the metacognition of the entire system and the beauty of the human experience.
peace and love, habibi.